"The Kid"

I wish I was a kid again.
A non-habit having , carefree, kid again. A ride-bike, tree-climbing, fall off, no-cry kid again. Because now, the 'no pain, no gain' rule applies to all situations and relationships.
You have to cry to pry open the gate labeled 'Moving Forward'.
You try not to lie, yet honest lives lead to denial of the real reasons why you tried to pry the gate in the first place.
You deny that you tried because you cared & loved, in fear of losing pride and gaining judgments.

I wish I was a kid again.
An action-high, all smile kid again. A no-pride, no fear, no hide, kid again.
Because now instead of monsters in the closets to spray away, we have imagined walls built around hearts.
Grown ass men and women too scared to lower, too weak to break. Instead of crushes and first kisses on playgrounds, we have turned the cute 'Puppy Love' story into a Blood Sport called plain old 'Love'.
I wish I was a kid again, the grown up shit is for the birds.

"If It Means A Lot To You"

“If you love them, let them go.”

This quote doesn’t entirely mean leave them. The quote means if you love them; let them do as they please.

Be something greater than the person that you were when you loved them. Grow stronger. Smarter. A person with a broken heart should be able to stand straighter than before. Take what you’ve learned, take heed, and move ahead.

Lingering over Facebook, Twitter, etc., isn’t going to act as the glue to hold your heart together.

Talking bad about the person that your ex is dating isn’t going to act as a needle and thread to mend your relationship with that person.

Tears, panic attacks, text messages, acts of frustration aren’t going to enforce walls of protection against thinking about them.

Forcing paranoia upon another isn’t going to make anyone look at you as the stronger person in the ended relationship.

Methods of release are warranted. Methods of release are suggested. Methods of madness are unnecessary.

1 year, 2 years, 4 years, 6 years… wasn’t a waste. Emotions weren’t wasted. Experiences were earned. Lessons were learned.

Now. Let. It. Go.

The Untold Story

October’s Love Dies. Tuesday the Thirteenth. Years die.

Notions that not even two strongest sayings in the Universe can mend two separate broken hearts.

“I’m Sorry” never holds the ventricles in place so that the “I Love You” can flow and emotions feel bliss.

Broken is Bitter.

Broken turns into ambition as an excuse for one as the other continues to love.

Broken for the other turns into judgments that ‘They’re all the same’, as the other fronts that the feelings aren’t there.

Bitter leads to tears as the two strongest sayings in the Universe are misused.

“I’m Sorry” never quiets emotion so that “I Love You” can tame the passion.

Bitter is Torn.

Bitter being the reminder for one what love has done, and how it hurt before… While sweet flavors turn to frustration for the other.

Bitter being frustration of the feeling that sweet will no longer exist after… Three years.

Torn is the feeling after the realization that the two strongest sayings in the Universe were lies of one end, and not the other.

“I’m Sorry” never stops permanent tears so that “I Love You” will have a clear definition.

Torn is one’s ambition to make the pain of prior heartbreak to go away to help void any future feelings of the same character, while the other feels obligated to make the first understand that it is able to be mended, whereas neither one of them are able to be fixed.

Torn is one’s desire to be held and having someone make the pain and emotion go away by any means necessary, while the other sees the firsts’ pain, and… reacts to block emotion with ambition, portraying false images of a ‘goal-seeker’ to peers and remaining occupied by goals as an excuse to run.

“I’m Sorry” never represses prior pains while “I Love You” only brings about painful memories of Broken, Bitter, Torn.

My tears flow again to say: I understand, while your push me away due to prior pain.
Your ambition appears as narcissism and laughter at my tears, while I try to repress the pain caused by your two lips uttering the two strongest sayings in the Universe and using them as lies.

Autumn Stones. Past. Present. Future. Representing each stage of life that I choose to forget. Repress. Move on. Season of Fall. Month of October. Day: Thirteenth.

So Please. Take your ambitions and live lonely and peacefully while I take my emotions and live peacefully and lonely.

Just know that “I’m Sorry… and I Love You…”