"The Kid"

I wish I was a kid again.
A non-habit having , carefree, kid again. A ride-bike, tree-climbing, fall off, no-cry kid again. Because now, the 'no pain, no gain' rule applies to all situations and relationships.
You have to cry to pry open the gate labeled 'Moving Forward'.
You try not to lie, yet honest lives lead to denial of the real reasons why you tried to pry the gate in the first place.
You deny that you tried because you cared & loved, in fear of losing pride and gaining judgments.

I wish I was a kid again.
An action-high, all smile kid again. A no-pride, no fear, no hide, kid again.
Because now instead of monsters in the closets to spray away, we have imagined walls built around hearts.
Grown ass men and women too scared to lower, too weak to break. Instead of crushes and first kisses on playgrounds, we have turned the cute 'Puppy Love' story into a Blood Sport called plain old 'Love'.
I wish I was a kid again, the grown up shit is for the birds.

2009 Closing Thoughts

Characteristics of a person change with experience, trials and tribulations. In 2009 I've watched people go in and out of my life and I am very content with the way the year has ended.
I feel like I've been given a chance to 'start over'...
The people in my life are as positive as it gets. Not to mention that I have found a sense of stability and consistency.
I still have to work on some things, such as confidence in the relationships that I am involved in...family, friends, etc...
But my trust issues, love issues, anger issues, weight issues, esteem issues...are all dealt with and are now to a level that meets my satisfaction.
SO! In 2010, I should have a great year! How About You?!
(May Add More Later :) )

Emotion: Anger

Main Entry: ¹up·set

Pronunciation: \(ˌ)əp-ˈset\

Function: verb

Inflected Form(s): up·set; up·set·ting

Date: 1677

3 a: to trouble mentally or emotionally : disturb the poise of b: to throw into disorder c:invalidated: to defeat unexpectedly

I've never been able to express my upset emotion well. I either overreact or under-react and I'll be the first to admit: neither are proper. My expressions now: Singing, Cleaning, Writing, Doodling...
Coming from being a person to argue via texts, hangups, and name calling, I don't know how else to tell a person "I'm upset" without actually making them upset at me. The verbiage and expressions just aren't there. #KanyeShrug
*Back to singing*
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Now playing: BEYONCE - Beyonce - Wishing On A Star
via FoxyTunes

R.I.P. Bob

Today I had to realize that I have to say goodbye to my 1st car. A car my mother worked hard and blessed me with for graduating High School.
Bob and I had our moments where he acted up, but I always held him down just as he held me down.
He listened to my crying, took me places I had never been, gotten me lost, and found my way again. He listened to, and never criticized my singing. He played music with great speakers so when he didn't like the songs, he would just turn the volume up on his own.

I loved my car. I am actually crying writing this blog!

Our time together wasn't long enough. I feel like I gave up on you... I'm sorry. I couldn't spend anymore money! I feel horrid! I love you Bob...And always will... RIP... I hope your new owner will love you just as much...If not, you know where to find me... I'll whoop their ass. :'(

"If It Means A Lot To You"

“If you love them, let them go.”

This quote doesn’t entirely mean leave them. The quote means if you love them; let them do as they please.

Be something greater than the person that you were when you loved them. Grow stronger. Smarter. A person with a broken heart should be able to stand straighter than before. Take what you’ve learned, take heed, and move ahead.

Lingering over Facebook, Twitter, etc., isn’t going to act as the glue to hold your heart together.

Talking bad about the person that your ex is dating isn’t going to act as a needle and thread to mend your relationship with that person.

Tears, panic attacks, text messages, acts of frustration aren’t going to enforce walls of protection against thinking about them.

Forcing paranoia upon another isn’t going to make anyone look at you as the stronger person in the ended relationship.

Methods of release are warranted. Methods of release are suggested. Methods of madness are unnecessary.

1 year, 2 years, 4 years, 6 years… wasn’t a waste. Emotions weren’t wasted. Experiences were earned. Lessons were learned.

Now. Let. It. Go.

"Ignorance is Bliss"

My friends and I have had a debate over whether or not it’s okay to go through a man’s things.

Granted, I have been there, done that, and no…I will never again.

Their side is: Why wouldn’t I want to know whether or not my guy is cheating? I deserve to know. I need to know whether I’m wasting my time.

My side: “Ignorance is Bliss”.

I wouldn’t want to ruin my happiness even if it was there. Not to say if something was thrown in my face I would ignore it, but, I’m not going to panic over “what if’s”…

If he puts his phone on silent, then he does. If he doesn’t answer the phone, he doesn’t want to. If he doesn’t call, he’s busy. He’s doing something he either needs, or wants to do. Question is: What are you doing? He’s giving you space to do things you want or need to do, respect his time.

(Same Goes For Man v. Woman)

As for wanting to know whether or not I’m wasting my time: Save it. If I am happy, then I’m sufficient in my ignorance. My happiness will never be a waste of my time. A waste of time would be finding passwords, cracking codes, etc. #DoingTooMuch!!!

A lot of people waste their time and energy raveling through things to find what may or may not be there.

Be Grown: Worry About Thy Own, and You’ll See That You’re Fulfilling Each Day With Bliss.

Embracing Haterism

While text talking with a friend, she made me realize something that a lot of people might go through. She said... "I tend to forget at times. I guess it's because I'm not a hater. Lol"

Which is true, she is definitely not.

But it was after I told her that sometimes us as 'real' people have to realize that we have to look at haters as well... (cliche)... 'Motivators'

Take your average 'hater'. Hating because of something you have. Something that they want. Not realizing that with work and praise, you worked hard to get what you have.

So...in REALISTIC perspective... without Haters, how would you know you're doing something right?

Something you worked hard for, people start envying, and instead of asking the steps to get there.

Pray and thank God every chance you get. Love & don't mind giving anyone advice on how to get where you are. There is no reason why they can't achieve greatness. That would be a 'hater' move not to share those things. Lol... We're too blessed for that

Why spend each day in misery?

realism

Noun

1. awareness or acceptance of things as they are, as opposed to the abstract or ideal

2. a style in art or literature that attempts to show the world as it really is

3. Philosophy the theory that physical objects continue to exist whether they are perceived or not

realist n
realistic adj
realistically adv

In the words of the wise: Hating is a full time job... So why do something you don't get paid to do?