"One "

• One time of pain can cause a mountain of struggle to hike through. 
• One moment of happiness can be passed on to the next. 
• One break-up can cause pain forever. 
• One title can create a power couple. 
• One stumble can cause a broken bone.
• One cast can mend a bone.
  
• One argument can cause the question of love between two people.
  One touch can eliminate the hurt that it caused. 
• One doubt can cause paranoia. 
• One trust having person can be a great asset. 
• One moment can either cause, or be the result of another. Either way it goes... Be careful how a situation ends up... So make sure that all situations are at ease and resolved before assuming that the one situation hasn't made the other uncomfortable. One thought before One action can change One situation and prevent One cycle of emotion from evolving the wrong way.
  
• One broken heart can be fatal. 

(I wrote this quickly so I may edit later...Thanks for reading...)

"The Kid"

I wish I was a kid again.
A non-habit having , carefree, kid again. A ride-bike, tree-climbing, fall off, no-cry kid again. Because now, the 'no pain, no gain' rule applies to all situations and relationships.
You have to cry to pry open the gate labeled 'Moving Forward'.
You try not to lie, yet honest lives lead to denial of the real reasons why you tried to pry the gate in the first place.
You deny that you tried because you cared & loved, in fear of losing pride and gaining judgments.

I wish I was a kid again.
An action-high, all smile kid again. A no-pride, no fear, no hide, kid again.
Because now instead of monsters in the closets to spray away, we have imagined walls built around hearts.
Grown ass men and women too scared to lower, too weak to break. Instead of crushes and first kisses on playgrounds, we have turned the cute 'Puppy Love' story into a Blood Sport called plain old 'Love'.
I wish I was a kid again, the grown up shit is for the birds.

2009 Closing Thoughts

Characteristics of a person change with experience, trials and tribulations. In 2009 I've watched people go in and out of my life and I am very content with the way the year has ended.
I feel like I've been given a chance to 'start over'...
The people in my life are as positive as it gets. Not to mention that I have found a sense of stability and consistency.
I still have to work on some things, such as confidence in the relationships that I am involved in...family, friends, etc...
But my trust issues, love issues, anger issues, weight issues, esteem issues...are all dealt with and are now to a level that meets my satisfaction.
SO! In 2010, I should have a great year! How About You?!
(May Add More Later :) )

Emotion: Anger

Main Entry: ¹up·set

Pronunciation: \(ˌ)əp-ˈset\

Function: verb

Inflected Form(s): up·set; up·set·ting

Date: 1677

3 a: to trouble mentally or emotionally : disturb the poise of b: to throw into disorder c:invalidated: to defeat unexpectedly

I've never been able to express my upset emotion well. I either overreact or under-react and I'll be the first to admit: neither are proper. My expressions now: Singing, Cleaning, Writing, Doodling...
Coming from being a person to argue via texts, hangups, and name calling, I don't know how else to tell a person "I'm upset" without actually making them upset at me. The verbiage and expressions just aren't there. #KanyeShrug
*Back to singing*
----------------
Now playing: BEYONCE - Beyonce - Wishing On A Star
via FoxyTunes

R.I.P. Bob

Today I had to realize that I have to say goodbye to my 1st car. A car my mother worked hard and blessed me with for graduating High School.
Bob and I had our moments where he acted up, but I always held him down just as he held me down.
He listened to my crying, took me places I had never been, gotten me lost, and found my way again. He listened to, and never criticized my singing. He played music with great speakers so when he didn't like the songs, he would just turn the volume up on his own.

I loved my car. I am actually crying writing this blog!

Our time together wasn't long enough. I feel like I gave up on you... I'm sorry. I couldn't spend anymore money! I feel horrid! I love you Bob...And always will... RIP... I hope your new owner will love you just as much...If not, you know where to find me... I'll whoop their ass. :'(

"If It Means A Lot To You"

“If you love them, let them go.”

This quote doesn’t entirely mean leave them. The quote means if you love them; let them do as they please.

Be something greater than the person that you were when you loved them. Grow stronger. Smarter. A person with a broken heart should be able to stand straighter than before. Take what you’ve learned, take heed, and move ahead.

Lingering over Facebook, Twitter, etc., isn’t going to act as the glue to hold your heart together.

Talking bad about the person that your ex is dating isn’t going to act as a needle and thread to mend your relationship with that person.

Tears, panic attacks, text messages, acts of frustration aren’t going to enforce walls of protection against thinking about them.

Forcing paranoia upon another isn’t going to make anyone look at you as the stronger person in the ended relationship.

Methods of release are warranted. Methods of release are suggested. Methods of madness are unnecessary.

1 year, 2 years, 4 years, 6 years… wasn’t a waste. Emotions weren’t wasted. Experiences were earned. Lessons were learned.

Now. Let. It. Go.

"Ignorance is Bliss"

My friends and I have had a debate over whether or not it’s okay to go through a man’s things.

Granted, I have been there, done that, and no…I will never again.

Their side is: Why wouldn’t I want to know whether or not my guy is cheating? I deserve to know. I need to know whether I’m wasting my time.

My side: “Ignorance is Bliss”.

I wouldn’t want to ruin my happiness even if it was there. Not to say if something was thrown in my face I would ignore it, but, I’m not going to panic over “what if’s”…

If he puts his phone on silent, then he does. If he doesn’t answer the phone, he doesn’t want to. If he doesn’t call, he’s busy. He’s doing something he either needs, or wants to do. Question is: What are you doing? He’s giving you space to do things you want or need to do, respect his time.

(Same Goes For Man v. Woman)

As for wanting to know whether or not I’m wasting my time: Save it. If I am happy, then I’m sufficient in my ignorance. My happiness will never be a waste of my time. A waste of time would be finding passwords, cracking codes, etc. #DoingTooMuch!!!

A lot of people waste their time and energy raveling through things to find what may or may not be there.

Be Grown: Worry About Thy Own, and You’ll See That You’re Fulfilling Each Day With Bliss.

Embracing Haterism

While text talking with a friend, she made me realize something that a lot of people might go through. She said... "I tend to forget at times. I guess it's because I'm not a hater. Lol"

Which is true, she is definitely not.

But it was after I told her that sometimes us as 'real' people have to realize that we have to look at haters as well... (cliche)... 'Motivators'

Take your average 'hater'. Hating because of something you have. Something that they want. Not realizing that with work and praise, you worked hard to get what you have.

So...in REALISTIC perspective... without Haters, how would you know you're doing something right?

Something you worked hard for, people start envying, and instead of asking the steps to get there.

Pray and thank God every chance you get. Love & don't mind giving anyone advice on how to get where you are. There is no reason why they can't achieve greatness. That would be a 'hater' move not to share those things. Lol... We're too blessed for that

Why spend each day in misery?

realism

Noun

1. awareness or acceptance of things as they are, as opposed to the abstract or ideal

2. a style in art or literature that attempts to show the world as it really is

3. Philosophy the theory that physical objects continue to exist whether they are perceived or not

realist n
realistic adj
realistically adv

In the words of the wise: Hating is a full time job... So why do something you don't get paid to do?

The Untold Story

October’s Love Dies. Tuesday the Thirteenth. Years die.

Notions that not even two strongest sayings in the Universe can mend two separate broken hearts.

“I’m Sorry” never holds the ventricles in place so that the “I Love You” can flow and emotions feel bliss.

Broken is Bitter.

Broken turns into ambition as an excuse for one as the other continues to love.

Broken for the other turns into judgments that ‘They’re all the same’, as the other fronts that the feelings aren’t there.

Bitter leads to tears as the two strongest sayings in the Universe are misused.

“I’m Sorry” never quiets emotion so that “I Love You” can tame the passion.

Bitter is Torn.

Bitter being the reminder for one what love has done, and how it hurt before… While sweet flavors turn to frustration for the other.

Bitter being frustration of the feeling that sweet will no longer exist after… Three years.

Torn is the feeling after the realization that the two strongest sayings in the Universe were lies of one end, and not the other.

“I’m Sorry” never stops permanent tears so that “I Love You” will have a clear definition.

Torn is one’s ambition to make the pain of prior heartbreak to go away to help void any future feelings of the same character, while the other feels obligated to make the first understand that it is able to be mended, whereas neither one of them are able to be fixed.

Torn is one’s desire to be held and having someone make the pain and emotion go away by any means necessary, while the other sees the firsts’ pain, and… reacts to block emotion with ambition, portraying false images of a ‘goal-seeker’ to peers and remaining occupied by goals as an excuse to run.

“I’m Sorry” never represses prior pains while “I Love You” only brings about painful memories of Broken, Bitter, Torn.

My tears flow again to say: I understand, while your push me away due to prior pain.
Your ambition appears as narcissism and laughter at my tears, while I try to repress the pain caused by your two lips uttering the two strongest sayings in the Universe and using them as lies.

Autumn Stones. Past. Present. Future. Representing each stage of life that I choose to forget. Repress. Move on. Season of Fall. Month of October. Day: Thirteenth.

So Please. Take your ambitions and live lonely and peacefully while I take my emotions and live peacefully and lonely.

Just know that “I’m Sorry… and I Love You…”

Titles Specified

One of my good friends asks one day: What should you expect or not expect according to different titles of a relationship. What should a persons' role be in such titles?
--For example what should a wife do, a girl friend do, a "just a fling" do, etc.

Here's My Answer:

I. A 'friend': --This person is there to talk to and confide in. Issues with a personal problem? Call a friend. Dependent on what kind of friend that person is defined as (a good friend or associate/comrade) that person may or may not know certain situations you go through daily. That person to have fun with, call to go out and party, go for a ride, road-trips, random outings to bars, bowling alley's, and at the same time, picks up when you call/text and is an ear when you have to vent.

Emotionally that 'friend' is there for you. Should be one to motivate you, party with you, give you a different insight on things that you see in 'tunnel vision'.

--Warning: This does not involve physical feelings toward the other person. Should any such feelings evolve: See Part II.

II. 'SEX': --Can be divided into 2 parts:

IIA:: Making 'Love' -- This is when two people get to know each other and have sexual intercourse with a certain ingredient called 'passion'. Sometimes the 3 words come into play and other times they are just understood without having to say it. This may or may not lead to Stage III dependent on many things such as : If the sex was good/great/ill: If one person was/wasn't passionate and the other was/wasn't: If one person wants to actually move on to Step III or if they considered it to be Step IIB, and would like for it to stay that way.

II B. 'Cut Friends'' --Term used when no emotion is included in sexual intercourse. This term is mainly used while describing 'quickies', 'one night stands', and 'cut buddies'. This term is easily misunderstood by one party as Stage IIA. and should be clearly defined in stone by both parties before starting this sort of a umm... 1/2 relationship. LOL.

III. 'Girlfriend' -- This is the friend relationship that is lead with passion. This term is used when 2 people confide in each other the most. Emotional companions that are starred #1 in each others' phones and in the 'five fave'. The person they call the most when they go through things. The 'best friend' with passionate benefits to make the other person 'happy'. This is when 'understanding' comes into play. You take the other persons' emotions into consideration before speaking/acting. Girlfriend title may or may not come with the word Love attached, but it certainly does come with a commitment, which should also be disclosed at the time of decision making between two peoples' relationship.

Not to be confused with Stages IV and V... although it can lead there.

IV. 'Lover' --This stage is the VIP of all stages. Why? Because it needs to be handled gently. One break can ruin the entire relationship- crumbling all stages(aside from 'fucking' in which this level would have never been reached).

This is the stage where two people confide completely and solely into one another. Trust to call them in certain situations and rely on them should something go wrong, emotionally, physically, and any other vital life function that life entails.

To fulfill this stage...

• Trust has to be 100%. Communication @ 110%.
• This stage is usually broken when one person breaks the trust of another.
• Even when both parties continue, without proper communication and trust, they will fail.
• If and/or when handled properly, this Stage could turn into engagement and marriage.

If not: 'A broken heart can lead to a fatal heart'.

V. 'Wifey'/'Hubby'/'Marriage' --Not to be taken lightly: This is an oath under God.

A wife plays the role of Best Friend, Lover, Mother.

A husband is the peacekeeper, the glue, lion, provider, king. He is the confidant in the entire family.

Neither role can be taken lightly and should be fulfilled in it's entirety.

Two people unionize before God and promise to love each and respect each other in such a way that they will never part. Until Death Do You Part.

A Wife/Husband should both be there for one another in times of need in any aspect. Two people become one, and what affects one, will affect the other.

So There ya go!

Go LaLa! (Damn that sh** was long-and to think...I shortened it! I still have a lot more on that subject!)